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Aged Care Home Announces Plans To Build $500 Million War Memorial, In Order To Get Proper Government Funding (The Shovel)

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A nursing home in western Sydney will start work on a half-billion dollar upgrade of its existing war memorial, saying it was the best...
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Christian Porter Forced To Stand Aside After Allegedly Gifting Cartier Watches To Staffers (The Shovel)

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Federal Government Minister Christian Porter has been forced to temporarily stand down from his role as Attorney General after claims he had given expensive...
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Scott Morrison Gets Vaccinated Again In Desperate Attempt To Shift Media Attention (The Shovel)

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Wearing a Wallabies guernsey, a Matildas scarf and a VB hat, Prime Minister Scott Morrison was this morning vaccinated against COVID-19 for the second...
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Morrison Says He’s Uniquely Qualified To Speak At International Women’s Day Event Given His Wife Is A Woman (The Shovel)

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Scott Morrison has told an International Women’s Day breakfast that he knows what it’s like to be a woman because his wife is a...
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Scott Morrison First Victim Of ‘Job Dobber’ Hotline, After Tip-Off Reveals He’s Avoided Work For A Whole Year (The Shovel)

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The government’s new ‘Job Dobber’ hotline has unearthed its first case, after an anonymous caller revealed that the Prime Minister has evaded work opportunities...
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Government Strikes Deal With Facebook To Restore News. Also Facebook Now Owns Tasmania. (The Shovel)

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Treasurer and master negotiator Josh Frydenberg has come to an agreement with Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg to return news to the social media site,...
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Jobseeker Increase Means Recipients Can Now Afford To Rent An Apartment In Sydney In 1994 (The Shovel)

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The announcement of a $3.47-a-day increase in the Jobseeker allowance has been met with jubilation by people across Australia, who say they will now...
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Craig Kelly Moves To Crossbench So He Can Finally Continue Saying Whatever He Wants (The Shovel)

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Saying he was sick of the idea of being hypothetically muzzled at some theoretical point in the imaginary future, Liberal MP Craig Kelly has...
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