22.5 C
Peregian Beach
Monday, November 28, 2022

Have a Laugh

Scott Morrison Ministries update for 25 November 2022 (The Shovel)

Good afternoon, In the last 24 hours we have become aware of one new Scott Morrison ministry, bringing the total number of known ministries to six. All six ministries are linked. We believe there may be further undetected Scott Morrison ministries in the community – testing is currently underway. We apologise that there has been a complete lack of testing undertaken over the past two years. There have been no resignations recorded to date, although unfortunately one career is on life support and is expected to die in the coming days. Our condolences to those affected.   As you are aware, Scott...

How did we end up in a world where Trump wanders about doing whatever he wants and nobody is shocked? | First Dog on the Moon (First Dog on the Moon)

Remember how horrified we all were when Trump became president and now it’s like noooo go awaySign up here to get an email whenever First Dog cartoons are publishedGet all your needs met at the First Dog shop if what you need is First Dog merchandise and prints Continue reading...Read More

Do Any Real Estate Agents NOT Suck? (The Chaser)

Sami Shah is looking for a new place to live and suffering the rental market woes. Email us at podcast@chaser.com.au if you have a home to offer Sami. Preferably in North Melbourne, three or four bedrooms will do. You can lose the ads and get more content! Become a Chaser Report VIP member at http://apple.co/thechaser OR https://plus.acast.com/s/the-chaser-report.Read More

Republican Party responds to gay club massacre, proposes immediate ban on gay clubs (The Shovel)

Republican leaders say the recent shooting in Colorado was a tragedy that never should have happened and have called for new laws to make it harder for citizens to open gay nightclubs.   Republican Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell said it was simply too easy to open a gay nightclub these days. “There are no background checks, there’s no need for a licence – in some states you can simply walk into a bar, put up a rainbow flag and call it a gay friendly space. It’s terrifyingly simple. “If we want these shootings to end, we need to ban the...

Retail worker has ears removed in preparation for onslaught of Christmas music (The Chaser)

Retail workers across the nation have today staged a mass walkout from their work, claiming they have been subjected to unworkable conditions, following the fifth straight day of nonstop Christmas covers being blasted over supermarket’s speakers. “As if the store radio wasn’t bad enough already,” said one traumatised employee holding a placard outside a local store, “but this last week has clearly crossed the safe Bublé exposure level of once dose every 12 years.” “I swear, if I hear one more Mariah Carey song I’m going to eat one of the 8 year old cheeses from the back of the fridge...

Qatar Government claims stadium builders died of ‘Football Fever’ (The Chaser)

Sami Shah and Dom Knight bring you all the commentary on the 2022 World Cup that would get them executed if they said in Qatar.Read More

Ruthless Dictator Dan wins yet another democratic election (The Shovel)

Tyrannical despot and leader of the Victorian Labor Party Daniel Andrews has romped home to an historic third state election win after he strong-armed citizens into taking part in a callous process that forces them to choose who they vote for. Under the brutal, independently-monitored system, the dictator’s subjects are coerced into numbering a serious of boxes in the order of their choosing. “He’s a fascist tyrant,” one voter said this morning. “Every four years he demands us to decide whether we still want him in power”. Dictator Dan reportedly celebrated his victory by drinking the blood of his enemies in a...

The Project on track to reach Net 0 Hosts by 2023 (The Chaser)

Channel 10 have announced a big step forward for their reductions targets this week, as their top rating show The Project is well on track to reach Net 0 Hosts by 2023. While the move to lose three hosts in three weeks is good for the show’s overall environmental impact, with a significant reduction in hot air as a result, fans of the program were still saddened by the news that neither of the hosts to depart were Steve Price. Other networks have celebrated reduction wins this week as streaming giant Amazon announced its own recycling program as their scientists found...

Nation tells police to get fvcked (The Chaser)

Sydney has been declared safe again today by police, after a pair of violent thugs were brought into the station to grab some coffee before finishing their night beat. “We have successfully eradicated the threat of 80 year old men innocently standing around in public spaces,” declared the elated Police Commissioner today before punching a puppy in the face. “No longer will the public have to walk the street in fear of being attacked, unless they’re innocently standing around and some police walk by.” Asked whether they might have to consider the fact that there are serious pathological issues with the...

No one has ever recorded the call of these elusive birds. Do they even exist? | First Dog on the Moon (First Dog on the Moon)

Whither do you go little snipe? Sign up here to get an email whenever First Dog cartoons are publishedGet all your needs met at the First Dog shop if what you need is First Dog merchandise and prints Continue reading...Read More
Skip to toolbar