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Wednesday, May 22, 2024

“Toddlers should be allowed to drive forklifts”, says toddler in charge of country (The Shovel)

Children should be allowed to operate heavy machinery, 53 year-old little boy Scott Morrison says.

While the plan has been met with criticism, experts say the change would bring child labour laws in line with other areas of society. “There are inconsistencies in the legislation. It is confusing why a child can’t drive a forklift, given they can be elected to the nation’s highest office,” employment analyst Trisha Bourke said.

“Some people may say it’s inappropriate for a child to operate heavy machinery, but no-one seems to have noticed that a child has been operating the country for the past three and a half years”.

Unions were quick to comment, saying that driving a forklift and driving a medium-sized economy are not suitable activities for children. “There’s a risk that they might fall asleep at the wheel,” a spokesperson said.

They went on to say that, “we disagree with the concept of child labour in general however if we can find someone half as good at stacking pork as the current PM is at pork-barreling then why the fuck not.”

Scott Morrison was unavailable for further comment as he was on time-out due to shitting his pants after being told he could not have McDonald’s for dinner.

By David from The ‘Berran

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