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Wednesday, May 22, 2024

NSW announces new plans to manage bushfires by airdropping petrol on fire (The Chaser)

In efforts to battle recent accusations of a lack of planning and preparedness for national disasters, the NSW Government today announced they will create efficiencies by adapting crisis intervention policies for use across multiple crises.

Yesterday’s announcement that close contact workers in critical service industries, including health care, will be allowed to return to work, will be adapted to the next bushfire outbreak. Moving away from the previously successful technique of using air-drops of fire-retardants to prevent at-risk areas, the government will now recommend air-drops of petrol, to provide forests with future immunity to fire.

“We have to learn to live with climate change, and this will be the most efficient way to achieve that goal,” announced Mr Perrottet. Prime Minister Scott Morrison added his support from his home where he was watching the cricket, and enjoying food prepared and delivered by others. “People will need to exercise personal responsibility. They don’t want us telling them what to do. We will simply provide the fuel, and they can manage their own reactions to our new plans” he stated. There are also suggestions that children will be given matches on their return to school, so they can adapt more quickly to living with fire.

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