Former Ministers Scott Morrison has called for sympathy for mental health issues after revealing all the lies he told as PM gave him anxiety.
“Mental health is so important if you’re white,” he stated solemnly at a press conference.
“Anyone you know could secretly be five cabinet ministers and that sort of thing takes a toll, I should know,” he said. “I’m not sure anyone could really understand how stressful the last few years have been, I only got three quarters of the way through my Hawaiian vacation before I had to come back and refuse to help with the bushfires, which was very stressful.”
“On top of that I had to deal with the pandemic and no matter how much I put all of the work on the state governments people still expected me to work through my anxiety.”
“Being a Minister is an incredibly stressful job, Mr Speaker,” he said to a female journalist.
“Working in a cafe or being in the medical profession is one thing, have you ever been asked to order millions of vaccines? I had to get Kevin07 to do it because I was busy secretly seizing power under the guise of a public emergency. It’s almost like anxiety was something that stopped me doing my best work? Yeah, that was it. It was the anxiety that explains everything.”
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