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Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Morrison Responds To Melbourne Outbreak By Announcing Plans For Dedicated New Chicken Coop (The Shovel)

With the COVID outbreak growing in Melbourne, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has rushed into action, immediately announcing extra resources and support to build a new chicken coop for a photo opportunity at The Lodge.

Announcing the new project, Mr Morrison said what Victorians needed right now was a series of Instagram posts of their Prime Minister cosplaying as a handyman.

“When Victoria was at its lowest point last year, I posted photos on social media of me pretending build chicken coops and cubby houses. And now that Victoria is facing another potential outbreak, you can guarantee that I’ll be right there again – in the queue at Bunnings with a film crew to capture the experience”.

With anxiety levels amongst Victorians growing, Mr Morrison said it was important for him to fuck around playing dress-ups. “For all Victorians anxious about what’s ahead, know this: tomorrow I’ll release a photo of me giving the thumbs up out a semi-trailer and everything will be ok”.  

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