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Thursday, September 29, 2022

Canberra Lockdown Won’t Impact Government’s Ability To Avoid Doing Job, PM Assures (The Shovel)

With the nation’s capital plunged into a 7-day lockdown, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has reassured Australians that the Government will still be able to not do their job properly, just as they did before the lockdown.  

“There’s no need for panic. All of that avoiding, dodging, ducking and evading work and responsibility – we can do that from home just as easily,’ the PM said.

He said the recent climate disaster, public lawsuits, scandals and pandemics were in safe hands.

“Not doing anything about climate change? We don’t need to be in Canberra for that. Cocking up a vaccination rollout? We can do that from anywhere. Failing to build any purpose-built quarantine facilities? I’m confident my team can do that from home”.

Morrison said what the country needed now was certainty. “Voters really expect us to do nothing and we intend to maintain that status quo. Our team will return after this current setback, refreshed and more capable of avoiding doing even the smallest part of their job.”

The ability to keep work out of the territory, which at some points has been surrounded by people doing their jobs even while a pandemic rages, has surprised and impressed public health experts.

This story is ongoing and will be updated as more information is avoided.

Matt Harvey

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