Peter Dutton has unveiled a suite of new housing policies in the lead up to the next election. Speaking to reporters, the leader of the opposition announced plans to negatively gear both the upper and lower houses of Parliament.
“Parliament is the home of Australian democracy”, said Dutton in a Mitre 10 carpark, “specifically, a four bedroom home in Randwick with a large mortgage.”
“The mum and dad speculators of Australia are able to offset losses on their properties, so why shouldn’t the government?”
“I mean, we lose money too. Do you think Barnaby Joyce is making a return on his salary? We need that money. We’re thinking of putting a verandah extension onto the Senate floor.”
Dutton also announced a plan to give franking credits to anyone who eats cocktail frankfurts and a “capital gainz” policy for people who get buff in Canberra.
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