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Tuesday, September 27, 2022

Tamworth Locked Down To Prevent The Spread Of Barnaby Joyce (The Shovel)

The regional city of Tamworth in northeast NSW has been plunged into lockdown for at least seven days in an attempt to curtail the second wave of Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce.

Authorities said the latest strain of Barnaby Joyce was proving to be even more annoying than previous versions. “It is very hard to get rid of and it can induce sustained vomiting and chills,” a NSW Health Department spokesperson said.

“What we’ve learnt is you can’t take this virus for granted. Just when you think you’ve supressed it, it pops back up again and runs for the Nationals leadership. And now it’s fucking everywhere again”.

He said the path towards Barnaby Zero would be long and arduous. “We can now look back on those Barnaby-free months in 2020 and 2019 and see how lucky we were, which is why we’re taking extra precautions to keep Barnaby contained to his local government area while we still can”.

Anyone who has come into close contact with Barnaby Joyce is advised to undergo a deep clean and get tested for STIs immediately.

Headline by Chris Auld @DamnYouChrisA

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