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Friday, December 8, 2023

Sydney Makes Official Request For Olympics To Be Extended By Four Weeks (The Shovel)

As Sydneysiders came to the dreadful realisation that the Olympic coverage will finish well before the lockdown does, the city has made an official request to the IOC to extend the Tokyo Games by four weeks.

“The 24 hour coverage is about all that’s keeping us from totally losing our minds right now,” the official application read. “How about we just keep everything rolling for a few more weeks eh?

“You can pull the pin on the fencing and the archery if you like. But if you could orgnanise to have Ariarne Titmus win a come-from-behind gold medal every second day between now and the end of August that would be great, thanks”.  

The application included statements from everyday Sydneysiders, pleading with organisers to ‘do the right thing’.

“I’m home-schooling 3 kids, trying run a business and I can’t go to the pub. Watching Kaylee McKeown swim sub 58′ is about all that’s holding me together right now,” Sydney resident Jamie Gladstone said.

Another said she’d take whatever the IOC was willing to offer. “Doesn’t really matter what it is. Boxing, Greco-Roman wrestling, ribbon twirling. I’ll watch synchronised swimming for the next 28 days if there’s an Aussie medal chance”.

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