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Sunday, July 21, 2024

Peter Dutton To Take Stress Leave After Seeing Rainbow (The Shovel)

Defence Minister Peter Dutton will take extended leave from work to recover from a ‘significant trauma’ after he spotted a rainbow in the Canberra sky late yesterday afternoon.

A shaken Mr Dutton said he was frightened by what the rainbow might represent. “It was bright. It had all sorts of different colours. Some of the colours I don’t even know the names of. It was absolutely terrifying – I wouldn’t wish it on anyone”.

The Defence Minister said he was deeply traumatised by the experience. “I’m pretty sure at one point it offered me a cup of tea and a pastry item and asked me about my thoughts on same-sex relationships. It was very, very scary”.

Mr Dutton said once he was in a better mental state he would begin talks with his Liberal Party colleagues to make rainbows illegal. “We really need to get back to basics and not have curvy, colourful light formations up in the sky pushing their agenda”.

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