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Monday, March 4, 2024

Kevin Rudd, Harold Holt, And 4 Other Former Prime Ministers That Are Doing More Than Scott Morrison Right Now (The Shovel)

We learnt this week that, in the absence of a full time Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd has been hitting the phones with Pfizer, to try to sort out Australia’s vaccine debacle.

But it turns out Kevin isn’t the only former Prime Minister doing more work than Scott Morrison right now. With the vaccine rollout in disarray and a Prime Minister that seems to vanish faster than an AFP hacking investigation into Greg Hunt’s porn tweets, almost every former PM with a pulse (and a few without one) are doing more than Scomo.

1. Harold Holt 

Harold Holt went missing in 1967 while swimming near Portsea. He now works part time at a surf shop in Los Angeles.

With a public swimming pool bearing his name in Melbourne, Holt provides at least one more community service than Scott Morrison.

Fun fact: Holt recently lost his Guinness World Record for “Most Days Absent as Prime Minister” to Scott Morrison.

2. Bob Hawke

Bob Hawke died in 2019. But with his face now adorning a beer label, Australians are statistically more likely to see Bob Hawke in public than Scott Morrison.

3. Peta Credlin

Peta Credlin was Prime Minister from 2013-2015. Always the workaholic, she has a full time role promoting government policy on Sky News, and a part time role undermining Victoria’s COVID-19 lockdowns.

4. Sir Edmund Barton

Currently residing as a statue in Port Macquarie, Australia’s first Prime Minister is significantly more useful than Scott Morrison. He provides a small amount of shade, a place for pigeons to sit, and can be easily located, even in a crisis. The statue has reportedly not forced anyone to shake its hand.

5. Tony Abbott

Tony Abbott works full time reminding Australians that, no matter how bad Scott Morrison is, he’s not as bad as Tony Abbott. This role is currently up for review.  


By Chris Auld

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