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Sunday, March 3, 2024

“Help the sick refugee children you fuckwits” yells LNP empathy consultant (The Chaser)

The LNP empathy consultant has been hospitalised reportedly due to the stress of constantly trying not to loose her shit at the government. Sources claim that the woman knew she had been under too much stress after she tried to talk to the government in regards to whether you give sick refugee children needed medical treatment and could only find herself calling them all ‘fuckwits’ instead.

This comes after three-year old refugee Tharnicaa was hospitalised with a potentially life threatening illness after days of government officials refusing to let her go to the hospital despite being clearly ill with pneumonia and temperatures reportedly reaching over 40°C, offering only Panadol instead. A spokesperson for Panadol has come out and said, “Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? That is not what we are for, but you 100% knew that you monsters! What is wrong with you people?”

“How the fuck do I need to explain this to you?” yelled the empathy consultant in a meeting with the Morrison Government. “Help sick refugee children you fuckwits! God, this shouldn’t be this hard. Sociopaths understand this, at this point it’s not that you don’t have empathy it’s just that actively you don’t give a fuck! Why am I still here? I can’t take it with you lot anymore, not even the money you lot are willing to spend on your public image is worth it anymore!”

“Quick things, Linda you are not the victim of stress when that stress is caused by you covering up a fucking rape! Morrison stop with this photo-op bullshit to distract people by making them talk about the distraction, I don’t care if it works just actually do your fucking job! Taylor stop stealing money that is meant to go to farmers and stop fucking the planet. Porter I don’t even have time for you so just fuck off already! I need to lay down but first, where the fuck is that Lamming dipshit?”

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