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Friday, June 2, 2023

Guy Who Sat Down On Couch 3 Minutes Ago Already Expert In Canoe Slalom (The Shovel)

32 year-old Hugh McInnis, who sat down to watch the Olympics a few minutes ago, is a leading authority on the ins and outs of Canoe Slalom, it has emerged.

“She’s going to want to be careful in the upstream gate in this eddy,” McInnis exclaimed, alerting others around him that this was the third Olypmic Games for the current competitor.  

“You just get the feeling that this could be her day. I’m not calling it just yet, but the way she’s navigating those downstream gates just makes me think she’s on song here. It has echoes of her run in London 2012” he said, pointing out that she’d want to pick up the pace for the last five gates to put any nagging doubts to bed.

“Good breakout. That’s it, back into the downstream. Ooh – nearly copped a 2 second penalty there,” he said, remarking on how much the equipment had changed in canoe slalom over the years. “The technology has come on in leaps and bounds. You wouldn’t have seen this sort of gear in ’96 or even in Sydney.

“Yep, she’s done it. Well done. Great race – stuck to her own plan, just like she did in the Worlds”.

McInnis will become an expert in rhythmic gymnastics tomorrow.  

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